Hi Janet, I am so sorry that you are going through this. A month into dating he became distant and cold and I simply knew it’s not a good sign. So are our family and friends. At that dance party, which she never would have gone to if she had still been dating bozo guy, she met the love of her life. List #1: How do you know that he doesn’t love you? You have come a long way, even if you feel like you haven’t. Then they’ll fall for you, ride into the sunset, and live happily ever after. Photo: weheartit. I know that we all think that we need “closure” at the end of a relationship, that final conversation where everyone gets to say what they want to say and you understand each other and walk away as friends. It sounds like he cares about you but do you live far away from each other? Is that his issue or is it something else? Get determined, identify exactly why you are breaking up, cut off all contact with him, believe that your next love is out there and then get out there and find him. 3. Am so confused don’t even know what to do. I am madly in love with a person who I know from almost 10 years. It’s you that needs to take the step. But then get up and on with your life. I remember when I allowed myself to be tortured; by the lack of my kids fathers love. Later on that day the girl posted pictures of him and her, seems like he went to beg her. #3 Floor, meet your heart. Yes the distance is his only problem.There is little or nothing I can do to fix the distance because I stay with my parents and they don’t give me much freedom to travel around. So i sent him “middle finger emoji” and blocked him. Yes. Email me at mitzi@letyourdreamsbegin.com and we can have a free talk about next steps for you. Reality is a hard pill to swallow, but that’s the only way if you want to heal and move on with your life. It’s hurts so much despite after the betrayal and hurt he’s done to me, I still love him. #3 Grieve if you must. He was giving you nothing but pain. That’s what i’ve always done when we were friends, so i think he got used to it. But letting go of someone who doesn’t love you is very important for a happy life. After you have made those lists, email me at mitzi@letyourdreamsbegin.com and lets have a free session to see if we can move you forward! Learning to let go is, in fact, only the beginning of something better. All the nurturing, love and encouraging of potential I’ve given, I can’t deny that I am holding out for it to bear fruit some day. Take a true accounting of those things that you are doing to justify staying in this relationship and take a good hard look at them. He just blocked me out of his world and then out of anger I broke up with him but I still want him back . I think I always knew you didn’t love me back, but I was hoping to be wrong. You CAN DO IT! I’ve never felt so good about myself. I struggle between wanting to keep his friendship and wanting to let go because I’m hurting I’m not with him. However, it’s not the end of the world. Diana, I am so sorry that you are in this place. There’s nothing as heartbreaking as being close to someone, but you only go so far. . Email me at mitzi@letyourdreamsbegin.com and let’s talk…. By bringing you back to the real world and gradually rejecting the fantasy, you will gain perspective. And the main problem is I don’t really want to force her for loving me back but the thing is My feelings are valid for her, because I have my life as well and I really want her to accept the fact that there should be love for me as well. Those were his words. I started crying and crying, it was yesterday. Selena Gomez – Hands To Myself . We’ve now lived together for 8 years. So take this time and mourn – it is sad. As to the next step, it’s complicated. And good for you for being brave enough to recognize the toxicity and do something about it! Some days i think he does then others i dont. PLEASE READ. It’s been over a year, ive been working on myself and I really am over him but still no confidence. We don’t even live near each other now and yet I just continue keeping the thread of communication between us. He apologized, of course, and soon we were in a conversation. Time is a great healer and with some time you will get stronger and be ready to take on this challenging task. And then one day, after another break up, she was invited to a dance party. It does sound like you should let go of him because he doesn’t deserve you! Because you do know that it is doing nothing good for you. It doesn’t matter whether you feel ready or not – no one feels truly, fully ready to start dating again after their relationship has broken down. We are frightened of being alone. You may know logically that the other person doesn't love you back, but you may not be able to instantly turn off your emotions. Now that you have a reality check on what will happen when you fall for someone who doesn’t love you back, how do you move on? When you love someone who doesn’t—and couldn’t—love you back, it feels like you’ve just given your heart to someone and seen them trample it. You want them to come back and for him to love you and that all will be fine. best of luck! I’ve been with this guy for 4 years, he has cheated on me 3 times including now and always he would choose the other girls over me. They did not love us back. Just email me at mitzi@letyourdreamsbegin.com and we can talk it through! Those things you are ignoring…. Take some time and write down what you want in a relationship. It all comes down to a strong sense of self and self-esteem…. I tried talking to him but I was having no of it he forced himself to having sex with me. You will be okay! Because without steadfast determination you will not be able to accomplish something as challenging as getting past a lost love. Instead of fixating on the so-called “love of your life” and chasing after someone who may be in love with someone else, pour all your energy into more worthwhile things. Are you struggling after letting go of someone who doesn’t love you back? I am a NYC based Certified Life Coach and mental health advocate. Over the years I have worked with hundreds of people, like you, to help make serious change in their lives. Follow us on Instagram Facebook Twitter Pinterest and we promise, we’ll be your lucky charm to a beautiful love life. I am happy to talk this through with you. [Read: 15 very effective rules to forget someone you once cared for]. He cheated on me before my son was born. Hi Alice, I am so sorry for your pain but good for you for moving forward. I found out 3 months in that he didn’t want commitment. Come on. But you know, in your gut, that that isn’t going to happen. I did everything I can while being miles away. Read some of my other blogs about letting go. I have being married for 8 yrs, have a 20 month old son and expecting another one, my husband said he doesn’t love me anymore and I find out he is involved with a 23 yr old girl. I’m afraid that if I let go , the good I see in her will be given to someone else and I didn’t give it a chance or enough time . He was sweet and apologetic and we had this great connection (or at least what I thought). And every day she debases herself by doing his bidding and, surprise, he still doesn’t love her. Think about Oreo cookies. . The next day, he talked to me as always, normal. He told me that I am not the girl he loved in high school. Not caring about me anymore, knowing how crazy in love with her I am. He didn’t reply. To be really honest, I was and still I am in love with someone who is my best female friend, but the problem is I do feel emotions for her, I do have feelings for her but she does not have for me, she just sees me as just a friend. Of course, if you never have a chance to go fishing, because you are still with this idiot who doesn’t love you then you, won’t find that person. Have you been hoping that your situation would change and that he would start loving you and that you would live happily ever after? Few days later infect yesterday I called him trying to get answers but he hung up when he heard my voice. All the reasons why]. At night we tried having sex but because I think I have a medical condition I was having this burning sensation, I couldn’t bare it. It’s not a matter of you not being enough for that person. What if he meets someone else? And it has someone in store for you when you open yourself up to loving again. I wanted him so bad and hoped a miracle would happened. because you have loved like you have never loved anyone. How you try and give meaning to the things that the other person does for you when you do not even know if he or she also does it to anyone else. We split for few weeks, then started seeing each other again, but I thought it was because he was changing his mind, having missed me and realized he did want to be with me. I feel the same way, Jesse. I have always been convinced that we are literally connected with energy. Our friends and family say the same. He is with her all the time, everywhere. I can promise you that you will be okay and you will find another person to love! A lot of people go through painst it’s hard to give up on true love, sometimes we pretend to be fine but we are not, fighting to get the one we love is also fighting to back out joy and happiness. Urequited love can be a difficult experience for anyone. And I think he is seeing someone else it looks like it and it gives me so much pain I feel like I wasn’t good enough and I hate myself and on top of that a lot of bad things happen in my life lately so much sorrow I feel like im gonna break and I want to keep hoping although I am seeing someone else who is much nicer to me but I kinda friendzoned him because i’m still stuck on my ex and I am so crushed. Imagine yourself as a distinct individual, separate from your now ex … Still in a relationship where my happiness and values are not concerned but still can’t let go of him..its been 05 years. Where-as I being madly in love, is devastated. And even if you are not looking for someone to fill the void of that lost love, going out and socializing helps heal. [Read: The different kinds of regret and ways to deal with it]. The person we love so much just doesn’t love us back. After the tears fall and the gloom lifts, you have to face the truth—you two are just not meant to be. Yet you are on the losing side of that love for the person who doesn’t love you back. What if he decides he wants kids, and I don’t want anymore kids. She’s also my friend. We’d share only 1 night every couple of weeks. Her father did not approve of my proposal. Here are some tips to help you get started, to overcome the pain of loving someone who doesn’t love you back. Do you think that if you just do this ONE thing he will start loving you again? Don’t blame yourself or your shortcomings—everyone has them. At first, there’s the denial. We really live far from each other( about 18 to 19 hours drive)Yes the distance is his only problem.There is little or nothing I can do to fix the distance because I stay with my parents and they don’t give me much freedom to travel around. https://www.lovepanky.com/.../broken-heart/loving-someone-doesnt-love-back I gave him so many chances and nothing has changed. Songs About Loving Someone Who Doesn't Love You Back By Ricardo Márquez. Help plz !!! #1 Oh no, it’s not happening. Unfortunately, right now, all you can do is hope for a future when you can be in the same place. Email me at mitzi@letyourdreamsbegin.com and let’s talk! My husband did the same to me many years ago and it’s devastating. The worse he treats me, the harder I love him. Letting go of someone who doesn’t love you is an incredibly hard thing to do. The hardest thing I’ve ever done, and, he did not fight it. Breathe calmly, take a healthy dose of chillaxapil and read on about how to handle when the one you love does not love you back, no matter whether your love interest is/was Kimmy or Jay. My ex was abusive and moves like a narcissist… I’m not saying he is one but if it walks talks quacks like a duck… Well I left him a year ago. Just process all the many emotions coming at you. It’s been a month and I’m still in pain. I think she have found a substitute of me in that person. I know how to text and talk in a way that elicits responses I want to hear but deep down I know he doesn’t really mean them. It will help you! You wear your heart on your sleeve, yet they might be totally oblivious as they have their own eyes set on someone else. 5. Hi M, I am so sorry that you are in this situation. It’s so hard. Please help let him go, I hardly eat, he is the first thing I think of when I open my eyes, last thing I think of when I close my eyes. So when you have decided that the relationship is over cut him off. And yes, you cry (a lot!) 9 Ways To Organize Your Life When You Have ADD, How To Stop Feeling Depressed (Without Medication), 5 Life Saving Ways of Letting Go of Someone Who Doesn’t Love You So That You Can Be Happy, https://letyourdreamsbegin.com/relationship-love/5-things-to-do-next-after-letting-go-of-love/, 5 Ways to Keep A Healthy Relationship Healthy, 5 Things to Do if Your Boyfriend ‘Forgot’ Valentine’s Day. Just when I thought we were getting closer, he’d stop seeing me. It still cripples my heart every time I think ... but I'm learning that it's so necessary. Once you take the time to heal, you find out life is still beautiful. PS: he showed signs of love, like staring at me, getting jealous about other guys, everyone thought we were a thing… that what confuses me the most. It feels as though your world is falling apart, and every fiber of your being torn to shreds along with it. So why not make extra?). I cannot let go yet. What is wrong with men that they let go of women who love them? I am sure your guy is a good one but being valued it important! I met this guy was really nice to me always calling and calling and texting and we started dating and sex happened . Nothing hurts more than when someone you love does something that causes you to reevaluate who you believed them to be. Look: we rarely ask any of our readers to “give up” or “let go” for one simple reason: It’s pretty easy to get an ex-wife or girlfriend back as long as you do exactly what I say. And I can’t trust he won’t kidnap our kid. But I think it's time to let go. He is being very clear that he can’t be in a relationship with someone who lives so far away. And as per her, its over. I love him and dont know how to leave this time, all I think about is if he dies I want to be there. So let’s just be honest: the person you love really just doesn’t love you back. I. I’m in a little different situation. to hear it back. You send them the wittiest, funniest joke via instant message and all you get is the indifferent seen-zone. I can relate to this so so much . Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Required fields are marked *. All the reasons why, The pity playlist: 10 songs to help heal your broken heart, Getting over rejection: how to bounce back in no time, The almost relationship: it’s almost always never worth it, The different kinds of regret and ways to deal with it, 15 very effective rules to forget someone you once cared for, Fool-proof ways to get over the one… the one you never had, Being in a Relationship: How to Prepare for It After Being Single, Dependent Personality Disorder: What It Is & How to Read the Signs, What is FOMO?